"Oh, you're a kitten!"
Pup's exclamation was spontaneous and spoken with a delighted smile. Saint-Clair's reaction was quite the opposite.
The catlike smile and previous expression of expectant amusement disappeared from her face, giving way to a scowl and a hiss-like sound in her throat. The werecat attempted to leap towards Pup, claws outstretched and emerald eyes glowing irrationally, being stopped by Woe at the last moment by grabbing her by the torso using her arms like a pincer.
"Enid, no!" exclaimed Woe.
"She called me the k-word!" she cried, "No one calls me the k-word!"
"Easy, easy felina mía!" said Woe, never loosening her grip on Saint-Clair. Gradually the young woman began to calm down. In front of her, Wednesday and Enid stood on guard. The Addams had risen from her seat and Enid had extended her claws, watching her counterpart with concern. Dora and Theo had also tensed, but the true indication of how catastrophic the situation could have been came next when Pup's voice broke the silence.
"Taylor. No."
Everyone in the room turned around. Pup was still sitting in the armchair, seemingly calm, with one arm outstretched restraining Taylor. The Hyde had taken a step forward, her eyes abnormally large, razor-like teeth peeking out from under her lips and a hand abnormally disproportionate to the rest of her body, long claws forming.
"But...," Taylor began to say. Her voice sounded cavernous.
"I said no. Easy, Tay," repeated Pup.
Taylor took a step back, exhaling the held breath as her features began to return to normal. At the same time, Saint-Clair seemed to have gone limp, held only by Woe's arms and with a look of dismay on her face.
"Ah, σκατά," she muttered.
Pubert began to clap his hands, "More, more!" he exclaimed, laughing. To him the whole thing was a wonderful spectacle. It was a pity it seemed to be over before it got interesting.
"I'm afraid not, Bertie," the werecat said, patting Woe's hands gently. The Addams released her, letting her break away a step. Saint-Clair kept her head down, in a clear sign of submission.
"I'm sorry," she said, "It's just..."
"What the hell was that just now?" asked Dora, her gaze jumping between the two Enids, Pup and Taylor.
"My Enid has certain impulse control issues when being referred to with a very specific term pertaining to young or small sized cats," Woe explained, "Derived from certain childhood trauma."
"Oh," Enid mumbled, retracting her claws immediately, "Oh, wow... That's..."
"Children can be cruel, that's all I'll say about that," Saint-Clair replied, finally raising her gaze and resting it on Pup, "I'm sorry, I..."
She was interrupted as Pup rose from the armchair and advanced towards her, gently pushing Enid and Wednesday aside until she stood directly in front of Saint-Clair, watching her intently. The werecat returned the stare, but it was obvious from her body language that she was nervous, expecting some kind of retaliation.
And then, Pup hugged her.
Saint-Clair tensed for a second, but feeling nothing but a pair of arms enveloping her with delicate calmness she relaxed, though that didn't stop her bewilderment. After a few moments, Pup pulled away from her, keeping her hands on the werecat's shoulders and offering a gentle smile.
"Don't apologize," the Addams said, "It was a marvelously savage and irrational attempt at murder, your eyes were glinting with shuddering fury. Most admirable, indeed."
"But... I..." muttered Saint-Clair.
"Ah, ah, no regrets," Pup continued, "If you're with Woe you're practically an Addams. And for us there's no better way to express appreciation of someone in the family than a good assassination attempt here and there."
"Mmm, that reminds me, it's been a long time since I've swapped Pugsley's shampoo for acid," said Woe.
"It's actually been a while since our last sibling torture session," Wednesday added, a nostalgic tone in her voice.
Dora and Theo looked at each other, "When we get home I'm going to lobotomize you with hot irons," the boy said.
Dora snorted, holding back a laugh, "Bold of you to assume I'm not going to take those irons and remove your insides with them."
Enid merely put her hand to her forehead, "Addams..." she murmured, though not without a certain tone of affection in her voice. She didn't even stop to think how all those words a couple of years ago would have horrified her to the point of fainting.
Taylor for her part just stared at the scene, one eyebrow arched and thinking how strange it was for once in her life to feel like the most normal person in a room.
"I knew Weds had her own thing going on, but I didn't imagine extreme masochism ran in the family," said Hyde.
"An Addams is an Addams, no matter what universe or reality they come from," said Wednesday, "And that means that an Addams can never really harm another Addams or put them to death, no matter how extreme the act."
"And for the attacked, depending on the circumstances and direct relationship between the two parties, it can be even more fun and pleasurable than it is for the attacker," added Woe.
"So... is it like a genetic thing or...?" asked Taylor, genuinely interested.
"Oh, it's a bit more complicated than that," Pup said, "An Addams isn't always by blood. But when you're family, you're family, and the rule applies. That also goes along with a greater acceptance of our quirks."
"Wait, so that's why I...?" asked Enid, "It's not just mere desensitization?"
"Oh, no, mia lupa," replied Wednesday taking her hand, "When I say you're already an Addams in all but name I mean it. You've never stopped being you, but who you are now is a person much more open to accepting the more kooky and spooky side of life than you were in the past."
"And the day you take the last step and decide to take the Addams name, Wednesday might stick you with a silver dagger and at most it would tickle you," Theo said.
"At least that's the way it was with Dad and Mom, although the dagger thing was an accident," added Dora, "Mom just wanted to teach him a new juggling trick."
"Of course, there are exceptions too, although they are extremely rare cases," continued Woe, "Where an Addams ceases to be an Addams because they no longer perceive themselves as such. It usually occurs in spouses who join the family out of monetary interest and by trickery or deception. They don't usually end well, like Uncle Fester's first wife."
"Aunt Debbie!" exclaimed Pubert, "She went poof!"
Woe nodded approvingly toward her baby brother, "Exactly. Then there are extreme cases like Great Aunt Lavinia, who joined the family hoping to make a fortune and without a shred of genuine love for her husband despite giving him two sons. Precisely, she was beheaded by her own children in what to them was a play session using saw blades as frisbees, unaware that their mother never considered herself truly an Addams."
"Yikes," Enid muttered, "I mean, deserved, but...yikes."
The conversation had relaxed the atmosphere considerably after the unintended tension of a few minutes ago, but unfortunately they couldn't afford any more time.
"Well, we'd better get ready," said Woe. The Addams knelt down in front of her little brother, "Pubert, you're going to go down to the cellar and meet Grandmama and tell her that Enid and I have had to go on a trip. If she asks you, tell her it's in response to a request from friends and family, do you understand?"
The little boy nodded, very serious, and made a mock thumbs-up gesture. Simply put, it was one with thumbs down.
Saint-Clair rubbed the little boy's hair, "Misbehave, Bertie. And if you find Kitty in the cellar remember he's too old for you to jump into his mouth."
Pubert merely replied with a smile. He gave one last glance at the rest of the people present before hurrying out of the room, the echo of his footsteps trailing away in the hallway.
"Will he be all right going down to the basement by himself?" asked Enid.
"He's an Addams. No harm will come to him in this house," Wednesday said.
Woe nodded, "Certainly. Pubert could stay home alone with no trouble. But we always leave him with supervision in case visitors or strangers come to our door. Or the mailman."
"He nearly took two fingers off the new one a few months ago," Saint-Clair said, smiling.
Woe walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek with a nonchalance few would have expected from the Addams, "Please entertain our guests for a few minutes while I prepare supplies for our travel, mon chat meurtrier," she said, before turning to Wednesday, "I would like your assistance if possible."
Wednesday merely nodded after a slight, almost imperceptible eyebrow twitch on her face. Enid knew immediately to identify it as genuine interest, as if there was something more to Woe's request. Wednesday cast a glance at Enid that confirmed the she-wolf's observations in a brief silent conversation between the two, moments before following Woe out of the room.
Saint-Clair clapped her hands and rubbed them together, "Well, to pass the time before our homicidal shadows in pigtails return I'd offer you a quick tour of the mansion, but I suspect most of you already know the place or at least a version of it."
"Not me, actually," said Taylor.
"Mine isn't as big, at least from the outside, and it's not as isolated from the rest of the suburb," Pup observed.
"Do you guys have a lake with a kraken?" asked Theo.
"Old Aristotle?" said Saint-Clair, "He lives in a subterranean aquifer accessed from one of the catacombs in the family cemetery."
"Aw, I doubt we'll have time to say hello to him," grumbled Dora.
"Well, I have to ask...," Saint-Clair said, as her smile turned toothy, "Shadow monsters? How hard are they to kill? Do they bleed a lot?"
"You're going to be instrumental in future encounters," Theo observed, "They only take damage from sneak attacks, but it seems versions of you... of Enid, can damage them in any circumstance."
"And so can I, though we're not sure why yet," added Taylor.
“Also, no blood whatsoever,” said Dora, “Just stinky grey goo.”
"They're fast and strong, but they seem to be guilty of overconfidence and when they meet an opponent who matches them physically and can damage them they have no idea how to defend themselves," Enid explained, "Taylor only killed the last one because I couldn't fully transform, otherwise it would have been all over much sooner."
And maybe with the Shadow Hyde captured, Enid thought, But I also don't rule out that I would have let myself go and ripped the monster to shreds for trying to capture Pup.
"Ah, the full moon absence thing," said Saint-Clair, nodding, "We werecats don't have that problem. A bit of a reverse, actually. On new moon nights we can't transform."
"Oh, Enid's problem wasn't the lack of a full moon," Pup said, laughing.
Enid reddened, slightly embarrassed as she rubbed the back of her neck, "We took our first dimensional leap without carrying clothes or supplies or spares of any kind, and if I transformed at all I'd have nothing to wear afterwards. I realized that just as the fight started and I was holding back the whole time."
"Περιμένετε, are you telling me that…" Saint-Clair began to ask.
"Ah, yes, I think we overlooked that when we summarized the events to you," said Theo, "Enid is a custos lupus, a guardian wolf. She can transform whenever she wants, without being subject to the dictates of the moon."
"My envy in that regard is indescribable," added Dora.
Saint-Clair turned to Enid. Her smile widened, slowly, sporting a row of sharp teeth like a murderous Cheshire cat. Her eyes glowed with an emerald gleam again, but now her pupils were rounded and incredibly dilated as she watched the she-wolf, as if she were an appetizing treat.
In two steps she stood before Enid and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Fight me!" she exclaimed.
"What!?", Enid replied, surprised.
"I can't wait for those shadow thingies any longer! Do you know how long it's been since I've had a proper duel!", Saint-Clair said, "Willa and Gomez are great and deadly, but I can't go all out against them for long, I have too much energy even for an Addams in a fight, but for a λυκάνθρωπος and one that can transform when she wants to..."
"I can’t...!" said Enid, "I'm not going to fight you! We don't have the time!"
Saint-Clair stared at her. Finally, after a moment of silence, she shook her head. As if with resignation.
"Yeah, nope. I'll apologize later."
"What...?"
The question was muted on Enid's lips as Saint-Clair shifted suddenly before her. Clothes ripped in seconds as the muscle mass of the body they sheltered increased. Pale skin was covered by brownish, striped, slightly tabby fur. A mouth with huge fangs grinned right before Enid's face and a sound similar to a low, deep purr flooded the room.
The transformed Saint-Clair, who for all practical purposes had transformed with almost instantaneous speed similar to what Enid was capable of, grabbed her with her paws, ignoring the she-wolf's cry of surprise, and carried her over her shoulder before sprinting out of the room towards the outside of the mansion.
Leaving behind them the rest of the group, dumbfounded after what they ended up witnessing.
"Well, we just saw a giant anthropomorphic saber-toothed tiger carry off a lycanthrope like she was a sack of potatoes," Taylor said, quietly, almost unable to believe her own words.
Pup got up from the armchair as if propelled by a spring, and taking Taylor by the arm started dragging her towards the door, "Come on Tay! It's going to be a wondrous sight, no doubt!"
Dora and Theo followed after them, walking more leisurely.
"Well, that just happened," said Dora.
"We're going to make bets, aren't we?" asked Theo.
"Of course we're going to make fucking bets."
NOTES
Saint-Clair's cat-like form is an anthropomorphized version of the extinct smilodon populator. The biggest of the three smilodon species.
Also, some translations!
felina mía: (spanish) my feline.
σκατά: (greek) shit.
Περιμένετε: (greek) Wait.
mon chat meurtrier: (french) my killer/murderer cat.
λυκάνθρωπος: (greek) werewolf.
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