Somehow, somewhere, Mother is laughing, Wednesday thought.
Not that the adult version of herself that had appeared before them in that nightmarish, apocalyptic setting was a carbon copy of Morticia, but Wednesday had always felt some discomfort in undoing her braids because of how much her appearance without them was reminiscent of her mother's. It hadn't been until very recently that she had begun to feel somewhat comfortable with it and only in private or in Enid's presence. And although the rough edges in the relationship between Morticia and herself had softened considerably, Wednesday didn't think she could ever be at ease sporting anything (be it hairstyle or clothing) reminiscent of the Addams matriarch.
And there, in front of her, a variant had no qualms about forgoing the pigtails. It felt more unnatural than the giant tentacled monster still visible in the distance strolling among the ruins of skyscrapers.
With an almost imperceptible shake of her head, Wednesday focused her thoughts and spoke, addressing the newcomer.
"Wednesday Friday Addams, I presume?"
The adult Addams smiled, a smile sharp as one of the daggers she no doubt concealed on her person. Wednesday, Woe and Pup felt a hint of familiarity.
"Wednesday Tuesday Addams, actually," she replied, "Though Friday seems to be the most prominent middle name in many of our incarnations. But for the sake of convenience, call me Agent A. I assume the other counterparts of you use nicknames or code names of some sort."
"I'm just Wednesday, but my two variants here attend to the names Woe and Pup."
One of the soldiers snorted, with a derisive, sardonic and barely contained chuckle.
"Oh, please don't tell me you think you're some kind of Wednesday Prime or something."
"Shut your mouth before my variant does it for you, Alford," Agent A interjected as she noticed Wednesday's scowl, "And the rest of you put your weapons down already, I think it's obvious our visitors are not hostile."
"Uh... just to clarify...," chimed in Enid, "Wednesday and I are keeping our names because our dimension was the one originally visited by the others... Pure convenience but it was all by mutual agreement between all parties."
"I don't mind being called Pup," said the aforesaid.
"I'll keep calling you Weds, thank you very much," whispered Taylor.
Saint-Clair draped an arm over Woe's shoulders, "And this is Woe, but I mostly call her Willa, though I call her other things too, like διαταραγμένη τρελή μου."
"Cara mia, not in public," Woe hissed, with a faint blush on her cheeks.
Theo stepped forward, "I have... I have about a million questions, mostly regarding what happened here," he said, gesturing to the entire environment around them, "But from what he just said ...uh… Commander Ottinger, was it? Well, you seem to have previous experience with dimensional incursions?"
"Partially from everything you see here this reality is like a punctured sponge, and on multiple occasions parallel universes rub up against us, leaking remnants," Ottinger explained.
"On at least two occasions we've had to deal with variants of ours of nearly identical dimensions but with radical differences in the moral spectrum," Agent A continued, "And they all had ridiculous mustaches."
"But yes, in general the fabric of this dimension's existence has been a bit damaged since the Conflagration of the Fifth Lament Configuration occurred five years ago."
"I didn't understand a word of that last thing you just said and yet I felt like shitting myself," Dora muttered.
"We can talk more calmly back at the base," stated Agent A, "And we'll clear up more things, but it's not safe to stay outside. Kstuoggah is relatively harmless and his presence keeps others of his lineage away, but that doesn't mean there aren't dangers."
"Kstuoggah is the name of that giant creature, right?" asked Wednesday, intrigued.
"Indeed. If it sounds familiar maybe you've read it in one of Grandmama's grimoires," said Agent A, "But for now, let's call in a ground transport."
"Come on, why don't we teleport?" complained Alford.
"Because our visitors don't have teleporters, you imbecile, and even if we had extra devices to lend them we don't know how they might react to the magical contraptions that at least four of them carry on their fingers," Agent A explained.
Wednesday, Enid, Dora and Theo exchanged glances. The local Addams seemed to have discerned the existence of the rings all by herself in record time.
"I've already taken the liberty of sending the signal requesting transport to Central, ma'am," Ottinger said, "A patrol is nearby and will be here in two minutes."
"Thank you, Eugene," Agent A replied, before turning to the rest of the soldiers, "You heard him maggots, estimated pickup time is two minutes, form a perimeter around our visitors and keep your eyes open, understood!?"
"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" came the reply. Despite being only a dozen men and women, they sounded like a hundred.
"Wow," said Saint-Clair, before turning to Woe, "Hey, do you think…?"
Woe sighed, "Yeah, I'll let my hair down and bark orders at you, relax."
Enid shot them a look, "Girls, priorities."
"Ha! Like you haven't thought the same thing," Saint-Clair reproached.
"Yeah, but I'm not saying it out loud," retorted Enid.
"Technically, you just said it out loud," Wednesday pointed out, one eyebrow raised wistfully.
"Agh!"
And suddenly, the conversation was interrupted as a melodic sound cut through the air. A wonderful sound that chilled Wednesday and Woe’s blood. That filled the two Enid's with warmth, the twins and Pup with homesickness, and Taylor with longing.
Wednesday Tuesday Addams, Agent A, was laughing.
It was a short, but hearty laugh, with no sinister or sadistic overtones. A laugh like Friday's, open and generous.
"Sorry, sorry," Agent A replied, catching her breath, "It's just...well, seeing you brings back good memories."
"Just like old times, ma'am," Ottinger mused.
Wednesday couldn't help but notice the slight hint of melancholy, almost imperceptible, in both of their voices.
"You have an Enid, too?" she asked.
Agent A smiled, but it was a faint smile. In her eyes, Wednesday, Enid and the variants of both knew how to recognize the gleam of an old, scarred anguish.
"I had," Agent A said, lowering her gaze. Her voice had become guarded and monotone. Enid noticed that it was even more so than Wednesday's had been in her early days at Nevermore, at least when it wasn't permeated by anger or vexation.
The lycanthrope tried to gather the courage to ask what had happened to her native variant, when suddenly Ottinger tensed, cocking his weapon.
"Ma'am, I suggest we move up the road heading north to intercept the transport ahead of time. We can't wait here any longer."
"Arthropods?" asked Agent A.
"Yes."
"Very well," said the Agent, "Soldiers! We're on the move. I'll lead the way with our guests behind me. Form a perimeter for flank and rear protection and watch the air and ground."
"What's going on?" asked Theo, as the whole group began to move.
"Eugene is an entomopath, he can detect the presences of insects and arachnids and even control some of the less mutated ones," explained Agent A as she clenched her fists, causing two circles of red light containing a five-pointed star to materialize around her wrists, "But if he says we have to move, we have to move."
Barely after a hundred steps they could see a vehicle approaching, something that could only be described as an insane cross between a tank and a London double-decker bus, heavily armored and covered with guns and cannons that emerged like spikes from its body, moving on wide tracked wheels.
"Pick up the pace!" shouted Ottinger.
"So...are we really on the run because of bugs?" asked Taylor, incredulous.
"The local wildlife around these parts is..."
She couldn't say more. Suddenly, with a screeching sound, the ground seemed to cave in behind the group right at the foot of one of the soldiers. The man suddenly found himself lifted into the air, held by the giant pincers of the creature that had emerged from the earth.
The soldier's screams of pain and panic were cut short as he was severed in two, his mutilated body being caught in mid-air by two other creatures emerging alongside the first.
The beings were like a demented cross between ant and scorpion, about the size of a medium horse and with a black and dark brown exoskeleton. Gigantic pincers emerged from disproportionately large heads while a bulbous stinging tail arched over their backs. But if the appearance of such a hybrid between insect and arachnid of insane proportions was already nightmarish in itself, what really made these beings unique monstrosities was another detail.
The dozens, or hundreds, of grotesquely human baby-like faces that covered their exoskeleton, blinded and with open mouths screaming a deafening cacophony of screams, shrieks and moans.
"Cover your ears! Keep going!" shouted Agent A, crossing her arms over her head and opening them as a sort of dome of dim red light seemed to cover the group. Wednesday immediately recognized what was some kind of shield enchantment as the screams of the creatures seemed to dim. The sound of gunfire cutting off their advance took over and the Addams found it infinitely more comforting.
"What are those things!?" cried Enid, almost hysterically.
"Howling scorants," shouted Agent A, "Keep running, we're reaching the transport!"
Indeed, the enormous vehicle was now practically in front of them. At its front, a huge gate began to open, forming a horizontal access platform. Four other soldiers emerged, offering covering fire and discharging their weapons against the creatures.
And suddenly, a shadow erupted from inside the vehicle. For a millisecond, Wednesday feared the worst, that somehow a Shadow Hyde had already made an appearance there. But the shadow-shrouded figure was humanoid and flew over the group, landing behind them right in front of the largest of the scorants.
The monster was covered in bullet wounds that oozed a thick white liquid and the faces on its body were still howling.
"Oh, shut up already," growled the newly arrived dark figure in a feminine voice, and in the blink of an eye something that could only be described as a giant scythe made of shadows and blood formed out of thin air, emerging from her body and slashing the monstrous insect in two halves, vertically. This seemed to be enough to make the other creatures retreat, sinking back into the ground.
Finally, the infernal screams they emitted ceased.
"They...they're retreating," Ottinger said, catching his breath as he covered a bleeding scratch on his right arm, "I think they were just an advance party, if we move now we'll keep more from coming."
"Fascinating creatures," Wednesday whispered, "Those screams... Am I wrong in venturing that they were exerting some kind of psychic damage on us?"
"Prolonged exposure can lead to suicide," said a voice. It was the woman shrouded in shadows, approaching them. The darkness around her body dissipated, bringing into view a face recognizable to many of those present.
"Yoko?" whispered Enid, seeing a slightly older looking version of her vampire friend. If in their reality Yoko still looked an indeterminate age between sixteen and eighteen, the Yoko standing before them now appeared to be in her late twenties, bordering on her early thirties.
But the newly revealed Yoko Tanaka disregarded the visitors as she passed them, her attention and bright crimson eyes fixed on Agent A. She smiled, showing visible fangs, more prominent than any Enid had ever seen on the Yoko of her dimension.
"Weren't you supposed to be at headquarters?" the Addams asked, crossing her arms and looking at the vampire with an expression of… amusement?
"And I was, in the control room actually. Just when Eugene's pickup signal came and I decided to tele-jump on the responding transport and surprise you," Yoko replied, "The whole saving your shapely ass again was a bonus."
And without another word, she stepped in front of Agent A and held her close, pulling her body tight against hers and pressing her mouth to hers in a passionate kiss. Her fangs grazed Agent A's lips, dropping a thin trickle of blood that didn't seem to bother the couple at all.
The soldiers did not react beyond some eye-rolling, or a resigned shake of the head and a half-smile in Ottinger's case. Among the interdimensional visitors, the reactions were a bit more surprised, most notably the "What the fuck?" that escaped Enid's lips and the expression of utter, horrified sheer fright that took over Wednesday's face.
Finally, the couple parted their lips, but kept their foreheads in contact, staring into each other's eyes. Yoko licked, tasting the blood from the small cut on Agent A's mouth. The Addams frowned, but smiled.
"You are irresistibly insufferable, my leech."
"I love you too, wife of mine."
NOTES
Well, it looks like in the end the casting for Agent A is Hailee Steinfeld in 15 years from now. Turns out my mind conjured up the look of the character from that suit she wore in some Hawkeye scenes.
Translations!:
διαταραγμένη τρελή μου: (greek) my deranged lunatic.
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